DeTomaso Mailing List: September 97, Message #13
     



From: Andy DiFatta <cdifatta@snet.net>

Subject: Civil War?

Date: Mon, 01 Sep 1997 13:27:27 -0400



Get real buds!  I let all of you know on Saturday that the NFL was

starting on Sunday.  I was distracted from Pantera threads for 1 day,

and I learn on Monday that we are going to have a civil WAR.  Let's all

back up a little.



Read on my buds and there may be an answer to this maddness.



To Andy Poling:  Don't mess with the evil empire.  You know they have D.

Vadar on their side.  Besides, maybe they don't have grass on the edges

of their tracks because they keep spinning off the pavement.  Grass

won't grow in areas that see too much action.  You would know this if

you paid closer attention to the NFL. 



To Mad Dog:  You are right about protecting the front of our cars with

tape.  Andy P. (I'm going to have to change MY name because it's just

too close to his) is just a young pup who has owned his Pantera less

than 1 year.  Maybe his Miata won't go fast enough to experience the

paint damage you have tired to warn him about.  His Pantera will, but he

may have to learn this knowledge the hard way.



Everyone:  Pay close attention to this because it has been formulated

out of years of wisdom.  Rape and pillage go along with the spoils of

war.  Since this is no longer politically correct, I have a suggestion.

Instead of putting our car titles at risk, the winners of a special race

will date the wives of the losers.  In addition, we can pillage their

refrigerators for liquid refreshments.



If you agree with me to this point - I will now prove who is faster

without the need for wasting a single drop of precious gas (with or

without lead).



Let's say both coasts select two cars to represent their respective

sides.  The east coast cars will start in New York.  The west coast cars

will start in LA.  Both groups will leave their respective cities at

1:00 am in the morning to avoid as much traffic as possible.  If each

group can maintain an average speed of 100 mph, and assuming the

distance between the two cities is 3,000 miles, the east coast group

will be in LA at 4:00 am the next day.  The LA group won't be in NY

until 10:00 am of that day.  By that time, the east coast group will

have had 6 hours of hard partying under their belts.



You see - it's not that hard to figure it out.  



Mad Dog, if you do not follow this logic, have two beers and see if it

gets any clearer.  If that doesn't work - have 2 more.  Keep up this

prescription until the fermented hops and barley instill pigskin logic 

into your shinny cranium.



Andy Poling, broaden your horizons and watch the NFL.  You will learn

many valuable things that will serve you well in life.  The very first

rule is always wear your helmet when you are playing with people that

may be bigger and faster than you are.  This is especially true in your

rookie season.



Now I must leave you all again.  Tonight the Packers play the Bears. 

Let us all pray that this uprising and talk of a civil war can be put to

rest.  I really don't want to find out tomorrow that it has escaladed

from a civil war to a world war.



Go in peace,



Andy DiFatta

(Take Your Pick:)

Gemini Warrior

The Wise Dog

General bud..WISE..er

Copper 1972 Pre-L



P.S.  Mad Dog, your wife has been active on the internet lately.  As a

result, her appeal to others with strong hormonal imbalances has

dramatically increased.  Think twice before you offer her up as a prize

in a car race.  There are many east coast men that envy you for having

such a companion.  And yes, even I have to get my own beer and pretzels

during the game.



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