DeTomaso Mailing List: December 97, Message #12
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Mail*LinkŪ SMTP FWD>FOMOCO LAW Here's a good one for you! Got this from one of the guys in another car club. Looks like UCLA puked out at least one lawyer with a sense of humor??... that likes cars.... Steve ------------------------------------------------------------------------ Especially for my "CAR" buddies!! This is ONE lawyer who is COOL!!!...... >USEFUL LAW DEGREE >True Story - I always wanted a hopped up muscle car when I was younger. >I couldn't afford one. Now I can, and I have one. It's a '70 >Mustang,and her name is Bessie. Bessie is the proto-typical juvenile, >male-caveman, scratch yourself and drink cheap beer car. Chromed >engine, dual exhaust, 250 horsepower, big tires. I'm driving Bessie on >Beach Boulevard behind an ancient guy in a beat up truck. He decides to >turn in front of me without a blinker. I accelerate to swerve and avoid >him, and this crazy, over-aerobicized woman jumps in front of my car >with her hand up. > >Meet Ethel, the neighborhood busybody/nuisance. She proceeds to yell in >my window, "Hey, slow down you idiot." I'm a well-bred, mellow guy by >nature, so I ignore this. As I drive away, she yells, "Jerk" at me >again. Twice? > >I turn around and drive up next to her. "Do you have a problem?" I ask. >"Yeah, why are you driving like an idiot?" >"I was driving like an idiot? How, exactly?" >"You were speeding. I watched you." >"You were? I see. How did you measure my speed?" (Ever the interrogator) >"I heard you." >"So, you measured my speed by ear?" (Ed. note: The Doppler Effect could be >applicable here) >"I can hear." >"How fast did you HEAR me going?" >"Look," she says, "I don't have to take this. Here comes a cop. I'll wave >him down." > >THE POLICE? This woman is a trip. She waves him down, and proceeds to >tell him that she observed me speeding. "What happened?" he asks. I >told him the story, and told him that I accelerated to an indicated 33 >mph (the speed limit is 35) to avoid a collision. > >"Are those mufflers legal?" Ethel asks. > >She's pushing it. I reply, "I have a C.A.R.B. exemption for them." I >give the paperwork to the cop. She tries to find another thing to screw >me with. > >She says, "What about those big tires? They CAN'T be legal." I began >feeling little overheated gears in the back of my head start to turn. > >"These tires were available on the 1970 Boss 429," I told the cop, >"Which makes them street legal as a replacement." > >Ethel gets angry. She whines, "So you're not going to give out any >tickets to this jerk?" > >The cop says, "No, I am not." >I've about had it. So I say, "Sir, this woman told you that she left >the street at the corner, and then she met up with my car here. >According to Title 39, pedestrians have to cross the street at a right >angle. This woman admitted she crossed at a 45-degree angle, which is a >ticketable offense." > >"What?" The cop looks confused. > >"Also, she told you that she walked in front of my car to stop me. A >citizen can't detain someone without probable cause, under Terry v. Ohio >(my new favorite case). Since she couldn't measure my speed, she had no >probable cause to detain me. That is anindictable offense." > >The cop says, "But, I didn't see any of this." > >"But," I said, "I did, and, as an officer of the Court, I can demand her >arrest. I'll agree to dismiss the Illegal Detention charge, but I want >her cited for not crossing at a right angle and Hazardous Conduct on a >Public Street." > >The cop called his Lieutenant, and after the cop told the story, he >authorized the summonses. She went home with $215.00 worth of traffic >tickets, and they are worth a total of four points against her license, >as well as the appropriate insurance surcharge! Of course, if she >demands a trial I won't prosecute. But the look on her face as she >walked away was more than enough satisfaction for me. Yeah, I've got a >law degree, and I'm not afraid to use it. ------------------ RFC822 Header Follows ------------------