DeTomaso Mailing List: March 98, Message #148
     



From: 	"Craig Cline" <Craig_Cline@smtp.rc.trw.com>

Subject: Euro Humor (no Pantera cont

Date: 	Wed, 4 Mar 1998 12:37:27 +0000



Mail*LinkŪ SMTP               Euro Humor (no Pantera content)



This is humor people, don't anyone go any take it seriously now...



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>>New EU regulations.

>>> >

>>> > THE EUROPEAN COMMISSION HAVE JUST ANNOUNCED AN AGREEMENT

>>> > WHEREBY ENGLISH WILL BE THE OFFICIAL LANGUAGE OF THE EU RATHER 

>>> > THAN GERMAN, WHICH WAS THE OTHER POSSIBILITY. AS PART OF THE 

>>> > NEGOTIATIONS, HER MAJESTY'S GOVERNMENT CONCEDED THAT ENGLISH 

>>> > SPELLING HAD SOME ROOM FOR IMPROVEMENT AND HAS ACCEPTED A 5 

>>> > YEAR PHASE IN PLAN THAT WOULD BE KNOWN AS "EUROENGLISH"? -- 

>>> >

>>> > IN THE FIRST YEAR, "S" WILL REPLACE THE SOFT "C".. SERTAINLY, 

>>> > THIS WILL MAKE THE SIVIL SERVANTS JUMP WITH JOY. THE HARD "C" 

>>> > WILL BE DROPPED IN FAVOR OF THE "K". THIS SHOULD KLEAR UP

>>> > KONFUSION AND KEYBOARDS KAN HAVE 1 LESS LETTER. 

>>> >

>>> > THERE WILL BE GROWING PUBLIK ENTHUSIASM IN THE SEKOND YEAR, 

>>> > WHEN THE TROUBLESOME "PH" WILL BE REPLACED WITH THE "F". THIS 

>>> > WILL MAKE WORDS LIKE "FOTOGRAF" 20% SHORTER. IN THE 3RD YEAR, 

>>> > PUBLIK AKSEPTANSE OF THE NEW SPELLING KAN BE EXPEKTED TO REACH 

>>> > THE STAGE WHERE MORE KOMPLIKATED CHANGES ARE POSSIBLE.

>>> >

>>> > GOVERNMENTS WILL ENKORAGE THE REMOVAL OF DOUBLE LETTERS, WHICH 

>>> > HAVE ALWAYS BEN A DETERENT TO AKURATE SPELING. ALSO, AL WIL 

>>> > AGRE THAT THE HORIBLE MES OF THE SILENT "E"'S IN THE LANGUAGE 

>>> > IS DISGRACEFUL, AND THEY SHOULD GO AWAY.

>>> >

>>> > BY THE 4TH YAR, PEOPL WIL BE RESEPTIV TO STEPS SUCH AS

>>> > REPLASING "TH" WITH "Z" AND "W" WITH "V". DURING ZE FIFZ YEAR, 

>>> > ZE UNESESARY "O" KAN BE DROPD FROM VORDS KONTAIINING "OU" AND 

>>> > SIMILAR CHANGES VUD OF KORS BE APLID TO OZER KOMBINATIONS OF 

>>> > LETERS.

>>> >

>>> > AFTER ZIS FIFZ YER, VE VIL HAV A RELI SENSIBL RITEN STYL. ZER 

>>> > VIL BE NO MOR TRUBLS OR DIFIKULTIS AND EVRIVUN VIL FIND IT EZI 

>>> > TU UNDERSTAND ECH OZER.

>>> >

>>> > ZE DREM VIL FINALI KUM TRU...

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