DeTomaso Mailing List: March 98, Message #151
![[previous topic]](../images/prev_topic.gif)
![[index]](../images/index.gif)
![[next topic]](../images/next_topic.gif)
Mail*LinkŪ SMTP Are you a Guy Survey (no Pantera Content again) > ARE YOU A GUY??? > > 1) Alien beings from a highly advanced society visit the Earth, > and you are the first human they encounter. As a token of intergalactic > friendship, they present you with a small but incredibly sophisticated > device that is capable of curing all disease, providing an infinite > supply of clean energy, wiping out hunger and poverty, and > permanently eliminating oppression and violence all over the > entire Earth. You decide to: > > a. Present it to the president of the United States > b. Present it to the secretary general of the United Nations > c. Take it apart > > > 2) As you grow older, what lost quality of your youthful life > do you miss the most? > > a. Innocence > b. Idealism > c. Cherry bombs > > 3) When is it okay to kiss another male? > > a. When you wish to display simple and pure affection without regard > for narrow-minded social conventions > b. When he is the pope (Not on the lips) > c. When he is your brother and you are Al Pacino and this > is the only really sportsmanlike way to let him know that, for > business reasons, you have to have him killed > > 4) What about hugging another male? > > a. If he's your father and at least one of you has a fatal disease > b. If you're performing the Heimlich maneuver (And even in this > case, you should repeatedly shout: "I am just dislodging food > trapped in this male's trachea! I am not in any way aroused!") > c. If you're a professional baseball player and a teammate hits a home > run to win the World Series, you may hug him provided that (1) he > is legally within the basepath, (2) both of you are wearing protective > cups, and (3) you also pound him fraternally with your fist hard > enough to cause fractures > > 5) Complete this sentence: A funeral is a good time to...... > > a. remember the deceased and console his loved ones > b. reflect upon the fleeting transience of earthly life > c. tell the joke about the guy who has Alzheimer's disease and cancer > > 6) In your opinion, the ideal pet is > a. A cat > b. A dog > c. A dog that eats cats > > 7) You have been seeing a woman for several years. She's attractive and > intelligent, and you always enjoy being with her. One leisurely Sunday > afternoon the two of you are taking it easy - you're watching a > football game; she's reading the papers - when she suddenly, out of > the clear blue sky, tells you that she thinks she really loves you, > but she can no longer bear the uncertainty of not knowing where your > relationship is going. She says she's not asking whether you want to > get married; only whether you believe that you have some kind of > future together, What do you say? > > a. That you sincerely believe the two of you do have a future, but > you don't want to rush it > b. That although you also have strong feelings for her, you cannot > honestly say that you'll be ready anytime soon to make a lasting > commitment, and you don't want to hurt her by holding out false > hope > c. That you cannot believe the Eagles called a draw play on third > and seventeen > > 8) Okay, so you have decided that you truly love a woman and you > want to spend the rest of your life with her - sharing the joys > and the sorrows, the triumphs and the tragedies, and all the > adventures and opportunities that the world has to offer, come > what may. How do you tell her? > a. You take her to a nice restaurant and tell her after dinner > b. You take her for a walk on a moonlit beach, and you say her name, > and when she turns to you, with the sea breeze blowing her hair and > the stars in her eyes, you tell her > c. Tell her what? > > 9) One weekday morning your wife wakes up feeling ill and asks you > to get your three children ready for school. Your first question to > her is: > > a. "Do they need to eat anything?" > b. "They're in school already?" > c. "There are three of them?" > > 10) When is it okay to throw away a set of veteran underwear? > > a. When it has turned the color of a dead whale and developed new > holes so large that you're not sure which ones were originally > intended for your legs > b. When it is down to eight loosely connected underwear molecules and > has to be handled with tweezers > c. It is never okay to throw away veteran underwear. A real guy checks > the garbage regularly in case somebody - and we are not naming > names, but this would be his wife - is quietly trying to discard his > underwear, which she is frankly jealous of, because the guy seems to > have a more intimate relationship with it than with her > > 11) What, in your opinion, is the most reasonable explanation for > the fact that Moses led the Israelites all over the place for > forty years before they finally got to the Promised Land? > > a. He was being tested > b. He wanted them to really appreciate the Promised Land when they > finally got there > c. He refused to ask directions > > 12) What is the human race's single greatest achievement? > a. Democracy > b. Religion > c. Remote Control > > How to score: Give yourself one point for every time you picked > answer "c." A real guy would score at least 10 on this test. In > fact, a real guy would score at least 15, because he would get > the special five-point bonus for knowing the joke about the guy > who has Alzheimer's disease AND cancer. > > >