DeTomaso Mailing List: February 99, Message #185

Do You Know Jack Schitt?

Jack Schitt is the son of Awe Schitt and Oh Schitt.  Awe Schitt, the
fertilizer magnet, married Oh Schitt, the owner of the Kneedeep Schitt Inn.
Jack Schitt married Noe Schitt and they produced six children.  Holy Schitt,
their first, passed on shortly after childbirth.  Next came the twins, Deep
Schitt and Dip Schitt; two daughters, Fulla Schitt and Giva Schitt; and
another son, Bull Schitt.  Deep Schitt married Dumb Schitt, a highschool
dropout.  Dip Schitt married Lotta Schitt and they have a son named Chicken
Schitt.  Fulla Schitt and Giva Schitt married the Happens brothers.  The
Schitt-Happens children were Dawg Schitt, Byrd Schitt and Horace Schitt.
Bull Schitt just married a spicy little number named Pisa Schitt and they
are awaiting the arrival of Baby Schitt.


And of course there's the Psychiatric Hotline.

"Hello, Welcome to the Psychiatric Hotline.
"If you are obsessive-compulsive, please press 1 repeatedly.
"If you are co-dependent, please ask someone to press 2.
"If you have multiple personalities, please press 3, 4, 5, and 6.
"If you are paranoid-delusional, we know who you are and what you want.
Just stay on the line until we can trace the call.
"If you are schizophrenic, listen carefully and a little voice will tell you
which number to press.
"If you are manic-depressive, it doesn't matter which number you press.  No
one will answer."