DeTomaso Mailing List: November 2000, Message #133

> This just tells you how hard it is to be single  nowadays... 
> 
> This was on
> the   Tonight Show with Jay Leno on September 7,  1999. Jay went into
> the audience to find the most embarrassing first date  that a   woman ever
> had The winner described her worst first  date experience. There was
> absolutely no question as to why   her tale took the prize!
> 
> She said it was midwinter...snowing  and quite  cold...and the guy had
> taken  her skiing. It was a   day trip (no overnight). They were
> strangers, 
> after  all, and   truly had never met before. The outing  was fun but
> relatively 
> uneventful until they were headed home late that afternoon.
> 
> They were  driving back down the mountain when she gradually began to
> realize that  she should not have had that extra latte . They were about
> an
> hour  away from anywhere with a rest room  and in the  middle of nowhere. 
> 
> Her companion suggested   she try to hold it, which  she did for a while.
> Unfortunately, because of the heavy snow and slow going, there came a
> point where she told him that he had better stop and let her pee beside
> the
> road, or it would be in the front seat of his car.
> 
> They stopped  and she quickly crawled out beside the car, yanked her pants
> down and started.
> 
> Unfortunately, in the deep snow she  didn't have good footing so she let
> her butt rest against the rear fender to steady herself. Her companion
> stood
> on the   other side of the car watching for traffic  and indeed was a real
> gentleman and refrained from peeking.
> 
> All she  could think about was the relief she felt despite the rather
> embarrassing nature of the situation.
> 
> Upon finishing however,   she soon became aware of another sensation. As
> she bent to pull up her pants, the young lady discovered her buttocks were
> firmly glued against the car's fender. Thoughts of tongues frozen to pump
> handles 
> immediately came to mind as she attempted  to disengage her flesh from the
> icy 
> metal. It was quickly apparent that she had a brand new problem  due to
> the
> extreme  cold.
> 
> Horrified by her plight and yet aware of the  humor she answered her
> date's
> concerns about "what was taking so long"  with a reply that indeed, she
> was
> "freezing her butt off and needed some assistance"!
> 
> He came around the car as she   tried to cover herself with her
> sweater and then, as she  looked imploringly into his eyes, he burst out
> laughing.
> 
> She too, got the giggles and when they   finally  managed to compose
> themselves,  they assessed her   dilemma. Obviously, as hysterical as
> the situation was,  they  also were faced with a real problem. Both
> agreed
> it would   taking something hot to free her chilly cheeks from the grip of
> the icy metal.
> 
> Thinking about what had gotten her into   the  predicament in the
> first place,  both quickly realized that   there was only one way to get
> her
> free so, as she looked the   other way, her first time date proceeded to
> unzip his pants  and  pee her butt off the fender.
> 
> Rescue accomplished,   they returned to the car  although for the
> remainder of  the  trip home there wasn't much conversation and
> apparently, despite   their   "intimate encounter," the two did not see
> one
> another
> again.
> 
> As for the Tonight Show...she took the prize  hands down...or perhaps
> that should be "pants down." And you thought your first date was
> embarrassing...
> 
> A whole new definition of being "pissed off".