DeTomaso Mailing List: December 2000, Message #90

Fwd:    Racing TV Speak - Translated

Race car drivers, sponsors, announcers and even writers speak in secret
code since the introduction of the politically correct rules of engagement in 
racing. Newer fans might sometimes be baffled by the true meanings of these 
terms. Below is a simple list to help you translate what is being said.


“I just meant to mess with his head a little bit.” – I put him in the wall.

“We’ll be back after this brief commercial break” – You’ve got enough time 
to build a blimp in the backyard.

“There’s an enthusiastic bunch of fans.” – They’ve been drinking since dawn 
and misspelled “ABC” on their banner ... at a race televised by ESPN-2.

“We’re currently reviewing our commitment.” – We’ve wasted a ton of money 
sponsoring these idiots and are looking for any way to get out of it.

“He seems to have a suspension problem.” – Juan Montoya just passed him.

“Action resumed just moments ago.” – We missed another restart, there’ve
been two crashes and the leader lost an engine.

"The track safety crew is putting down additional oil dry” – There's going 
to be one hell of a crash when they restart this race.

“For those of you new to the sport...” – Get ready for another painfully
confusing explanation of push and loose.

“This track presents a unique challenge.” – It’s poorly designed.

“We’d like to welcome to the booth...” – Someone who knows nothing about
racing.

“This is a family sport..” – For those who do whatever the France and
Hulman-George families tell them to.

“Here’s the tail end of the incident.” – We’re clueless as to what happened 
.. our cameraman missed it.

“From this angle it’s hard to tell.” – You can see whose fault it is but we 
don’t want to irritate his sponsor.

“Sometimes in the heat of the moment...” – This guy just made a totally
bonehead move.

“Our finishes don’t reflect how well we’ve run” – Every time we get into
the top ten, either our driver runs out of talent and crashes or an engine 
blows.

“We remain 100 percent committed to our driver” – Anyone got Memo Gidley's 
or Byran Herta’s home phone numbers?

“I’m exploring my options” – The phones not ringing. Looks like I’m heading 
over to the IRL.