DeTomaso Mailing List: January 2001, Message #111

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Just wanted to say sorry to the women out there but it is funny


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Return-path: <LVMarshal@aol.com>
From: LVMarshal@aol.com
Full-name: LVMarshal
Message-ID: <20.1004e1c5.277f6228@aol.com>
Date: Sat, 30 Dec 2000 11:07:04 EST
Subject: 46 rules
To: TSA007@hotmail.com, Catzmeou@aol.com, KENSHOOTS1ST@aol.com,
	JECoulston@aol.com, SBK@gty.ci.henderson.nv.us, Malais@earthlink.com,
	HousingENF@aol.com, ARIVDCH@aol.com, Srakes7@aol.com,
	rxter@mail.ev1.net, Richandlne@aol.com
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X-Mailer: AOL 4.0 for Windows sub 111

Heres one to share with that special someone, if you dare!

46 RULES THAT GUYS
WISH GIRLS KNEW..... 
1. If you think you are fat, you probably are. Do not ask us. We refuse 
to answer. 
2. Learn to work the toilet seat. If it's up, Put it down. 
3. Do not cut your hair. Ever. Long hair is always more attractive than 
short hair. One of the big reasons guys fear getting married is that 
married women always cut their hair, and by then, you are stuck with 
her. 
4. Birthdays, Valentines, and Anniversaries are not quests to see if we 
can find the perfect present yet again! 
5. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to;expect an answer 
you do not want to hear. 
6. Sometimes, we are not thinking about you. Live with it. 
7. Do not ask us what we are thinking about unless you are prepared to 
discuss such topics as navel lint, the shotgun formation and monster 
trucks. 
8. Sunday = sports. It's like the full moon or the changing of the 
tides. Let it be. 
9. Shopping is not a sport, and no, we are never going to think of it 
that way. 
10. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine. 
Really. 
11. You have enough clothes. 
12. You have too many shoes. 
13. Crying is blackmail. 
14. Your ex-boyfriend is an idiot. 
15. Ask for what you want. Let us be clear on this one: Subtle hints do 
not work. Strong hints do not work. Obvious hints do not work. Just say 
it! 
16. No, we do not know what day it is. We never will. Mark anniversaries 
on a calendar. 
17. Yes, peeing standing up is more difficult. We are bound to miss 
sometimes. 
18. Most guys own three pairs of shoes. What makes you think we'd be any 
good at choosing which pair, out of thirty, would look good with your 
dress? 
19. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every 
question. 
20. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That is 
what we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for. 
21. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem. See a doctor. 
22. Foreign films are best left to foreigners. 
23. Check your oil. 
24. Do not fake it. We would rather be ineffective than deceived. 
25. It is neither in your best interest or ours to take the quiz 
together. 
26. No, it does not matter which quiz. 
27. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. All 
comments become null and void after 7 days. 
28. If you won't dress like the Victoria's Secret girls, don't expect us 
to act like soap opera guys. 
29. If something we said can be interpreted two ways, and one of the 
ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one. 
30. Let us ogle. We are going to look anyway; it is genetic. 
31. Don't rub the lamp if you don't want the genie to come out. 
32. You can either ask us to do something OR tell us how you want it 
done; not both. 
33. Whenever possible, please say whatever you have to say during 
commercials. 
34. Christopher Columbus did not need directions, and either do we. 
35. Women wearing Wonderbras and low-cut blouses lose their right to 
complain about having their boobs stared at. 
36. More women should wear Wonderbras and low-cut blouses. We like 
staring at boobs. 
37. The relationship is never going to be like it was the first two 
months we were going out. 
38. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like windows default settings. Peach 
is a fruit, not a color. 
39. Pumpkin is also a fruit. 
40. If it itches, it will be scratched. 
41. Beer is as exciting for us as handbags are for you. 
42. If it is OUR house, I do not understand why MY stuff gets thrown in 
the closet/attic/basement. 
43. We are not mind readers and we never will be. Our lack of 
mind-reading ability is not proof of how little we care about you. 
44. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," we will act like 
nothing's wrong. We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the 
hassle. 
45. If we hear from an old girlfriend, we will briefly fantasize about 
having sex with her. But do not worry; the fantasy includes you AND her 
together. 
46. What the hell is a doily?

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